28° - Feels like 21°
not a phone person
Yesterday after the evening lecture I sat in my car talking on the phone. Nervous and excited with a stupid grin on my face. It was sprinkling lightly and very cold but I didn’t care. Today I laid in the dark of my living room and did the same. Expressing and laughing and listening. These are conversations I could really get used to.
This part is fun. So, so, so fun.
crack
Last night I went to Prof. Osler’s lecture on “Crack, Senators, Money and Power.” I listened to a brief history of the crack trade as it relates to sentencing guidelines framed within Prof. Osler’s personal journey. I was struck by what changed him. It wasn’t an event, it was more basic—a speech. A courageously delivered speech. Courageous only because it was delivered with the knowledge that there would be no victory in court. Delivered simply because he knew that it was right. Speaking up for truth. It is a thing backed by the power of good. It’s the stuff that creates real change. Slow and labored as it may come.
The power of ordinary moments is striking. Is it not?
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.
— Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I need to do this.
Any warriors out there?
This is how I would like to celebrate the completion of my second year of law school.
How thrilling when the risk turns out well. What a way he has with words.
….. :)
weekend bits
What an eventful weekend. Things have finally slowed for me to write about them.
I drove to Austin on Friday after class and climbing. The apt 5 roomies and I went to “La Contesa” and ate fancy Mexican food. I had the Sunday Chicken and it was so, so, so delicious. A marriage of simple contrasting flavors created happiness in my mouth. The sweetness of grilled onions, the salty/creamy/savory plantain au gratin and moist roasted chicken, yum. Even the chips and salsa were fancy—four different kinds of salsa and a thick hefty chip with which to scoop.
Grawtch and Aimee :) And their tuna appetizer. And the fancy salsa.
Pork for Patty and Sunday Roast for me. Mmmm.
Booty Bizzle. Fo shizzle. Celebrating much—the completion of applications, finals and for me, just celebrating life.
Patty dancin’ all up on the performer and look who’s standing behind her? The Bearded Man of Her Dreams.
I loved this group’s sound because of him. A live rap/electro mash up. So great.
They said their names a zillion times and I even remember them saying “We are blank blank. You can’t forget that!” But I forgot. Patty into the mike: “BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT.” The dude: “DAYUM.”
Suddenly the girl who never hugs anyone, was hugging everyone!
Whee!
Patty the piano teacher extraordinaire. This needs to be on your brochure. “Not only will I teach you piano, but these sweet moves.” And then she was sad because Bearded Man of Her Dreams went outside for a smoke.
But when he came back, I hooked a sistuh up. Patty lost all her moves because she was so happy. ARE HIS LIPS ON YOUR FACE?
The after party.
Food from two different places, pho and chicken nuggets. Yum.
Going to get haircuts.
While waiting we checked out Manfest which was in the parking lot of the barbershop. We didn’t quite know what was going on but people were dressed as vikings, renaissance people and there was a….centaur. We heard free tequila and beer and had time to kill.
Adorable, at Law Prom.
In the bathroom with law school friends. Without whom I would not have made it this far.
With sweet Liz.
snow
I woke up really excited by the prospect of snow. I checked the forecast and read 30% chance of snow. Shoot, what is that?! Well, while sitting in ConLaw it started to snow!!! At first the flakes were big, they looked like small bits of feather. They were blowing in every different direction. It continued to snow for about 30 minutes and the flakes got smaller and fell slower. And then there was sun.
You guys, it snowed !!!!
This week has passed quickly, marked by the sharp chill of winter. I walk hurriedly, leaning forward, hoping to get inside. I am not used to temperatures in the 30s. A snow storm may travel through central Texas tomorrow. I’m excited by the very possibility.
I took a risk. Showed a little bit more of me. How scary! I’m holding my breath. But anything less than honest expression would be a betrayal. So beneath the fear, there is hope.
School has been enjoyable. Prof. ConLaw continues to make outrageous comments that I don’t think I can restate here. Hooters, pagan dirtys-ville California and the Commerce Clause provided plenty of laughs today. It was so cold I didn’t go climbing because I didn’t want to step outside. I am thinking of volunteering at Mission Waco again with some of the free time I have.
This weekend will include Austin, Law Prom and hopefully watching snow fall. Oh yeah, maybe some outlining too. I’m in school huh?
